5 Funniest On-Hold Messaging Service Scripts

on-hold messaging service

You know the headache of being on hold with a company for several minutes. The annoying sound of elevator music plays in your ear at an insanely loud volume. Then, you’re stuck. You’re stuck listening to whatever automated script the company chooses to play on their on-hold messaging service. You roll your eyes and suck it up as you have no other option.

However, as a business owner, you have the option to use a script on your own on-hold messaging service that’ll keep your customers intrigued and make them forget they’re even on hold. Being on hold doesn’t have to be a painful experience.  It can be fun when done the right way.

Don’t subject your customers to boring elevator music. Continue reading below for the top funniest on-hold messages that prove you can have fun with it!

Importance of Humor in an On-Hold Messaging Service Script

You know the pains involved with being kept on hold. As a business owner, you don’t want to put your own customers through this same pain. Instead, you want to create an on-hold message that’s humorous,  fun, entertaining, informational, or just silly. 

The best on-hold wait time is one that goes unnoticed because the customer is having so much fun with the message that’s playing. The type of message that you decide to play on your own messaging service is up to you, but here are a few examples to get the inspiration flowing. 

1. Lakeland Auto and Marine

“Thanks for choosing Lakeland Auto and Marine. You’ll find us in Port Clinton, Ohio about 4,000 miles west of France and left or right of Lake Erie depending on which way you’re coming from. We’re also directly in line with the sun, so if you’re gonna stop by you might want to bring a hat.”

This on-hold message from Lakeland Auto and Marine is all about being silly. Their location is in their name, so it’s easy for them to have a bit of fun with where they’re located.

While customers are on hold, they’ll be laughing about the silly directions given to them and might even appreciate the suggestion to bring a hat as the sun can get quite brutal as it shines down on an auto lot. 

2. Town and Country Hotel 

“Thanks for choosing Town and Country the San Diego hotel with free sheets and revolutionary in-room toilets. Friendly dogs are always welcomed at Town and Country. We’ve even set aside a special area for them where they can do doggy things like running, city planning, and solving advanced puzzles that require critical thinking. Book your pet-friendly room when we return.”

This hotel had a lot of fun creating their on-hold message. It’s clear from the message that they’re a dog-friendly hotel and have special areas for dogs to run around in. Yet, instead of saying that, they decided to have some fun with it instead. 

You also have to love that hint of sarcasm when explaining that they have free sheets and in-room toilets! 

3. Binkelman 

“Lots of people fantasize about making love to Continentals Maximizer Prodrive selection analysis software, and we understand why. It helps design a fish and power transmission belt drives for your drive system. You just answer your drive specifications, and Maximizer Pro shows you belt options that will deliver the maximum energy savings for your application. That’s pretty hot, I know, but while Maximizer Pro is all out freaky sexy, it’s also cold and emotionally unavailable, so please don’t fall in love.”

Here’s a company that’s product is software. An otherwise boring topic of discussion, software in this on-hold message is seen in a whole other light. This company uses its message to convince its customers that the software product is desirable. 

The message also tells a little bit about the software as well, which works out well for an informational message. The message ends with a silly statement that almost makes the customer feel attached to the product!

4. Walter’s Goodyear

“”Are you afraid of robots? Well, who isn’t? They’re creepy and their internal oils could leak on your couch and your pants, but it’s time to get over our fears so Walter’s Goodyear has hired a robot to answer our phones. Say hello to Vince. “Nice to meet you.” Vince why don’t you tell our friend about our 1795 oil change. “It is an oil change that cost 17 dollars and 95 cents.””

This company uses a fun message with a human voice speaking with a robot that the company hired to tell customers all about their services. The human voice on the recording is funny and uplifting and the robot’s voice sounds more artificial. The robot goes into details about the services offered and this makes it informational, but fun!

5. Rumpf

“Is stress getting the better of you? Then take trombone lessons and eat more horse meat. Romantic trombone music has been clinically proven to reduce the effects of the hormone cortisol and, of course, the unique molecular structure of horse meat stimulates the deeply suppressed urge in humans to gallop, and it’s hard to be stressed when you’re galloping. Take it from us, we’re galloping to the phone right now to take your call and we couldn’t be more relaxed.” 

This company decided to address the topic of stress to its customers on hold. How ironic is that? Yet, this makes the message quite interesting. 

The message also ends with a funny statement that they’re galloping over to the phones right now to answer the customer’s call! Customers can have a good laugh while waiting for someone to gallop on over. 

What’s Your On-Hold Messaging Service Script?

Do you have an on-hold messaging service script? What does yours sound like? Is it fun and uplifting, or is it boring elevator music? 

Bring your customers some light-hearted fun while on hold with your business. Click here to receive a quote on on-hold messages and phone greetings!

How to Create a Hilarious on Hold Message Script That Your Callers Will Love

on hold message script

There aren’t many things people hate more than being put on hold when they call your company. They expect to talk to a person and to be treated like one, and instead, they’re ignored and have to spend time waiting for someone to answer. It’s annoying, and it can cost you business. Yet, there are simple ways to keep people on the line if they’re on hold, and the best one is to write an on hold message script.

This is a script that your customers will hear when they waiting to talk to an actual person. It’s what place when someone is on hold, and it costs almost nothing to write one up and record.

And the best part is that you don’t need to write your on hold message script to be so formal. The point of an on hold message is to keep them on the line, not to bore them to death! So, you might as well try to have some fun with it and make your customers laugh while they wait.

And to learn how to write a comedic message script, just keep reading below!

A Person Will Need to Read Your On Hold Message Script

The first step is to realize that writing a script isn’t like writing an article or any other kind of copy. Most kinds of writing are meant to be silently read by a single person. Yet, writing scripts is different because it’s meant to be read out loud by a specific person.

Instead of writing to inform people or to entertain them, you need to write your script as a way to create a conversation. You need to imagine what someone would say to another person and then put it on the page. Don’t be afraid if it feels like you’re talking to yourself — that just means you’re writing well.

It’s Not Just the Writing That Matters — Voice Matters Too

While you need to adapt your writing style for screenwriting, you also need to realize there are additional production steps to recording an on hold message. You need to find someone who has the right voice for the job, and who can read your script well.

A person can have a perfect voice for the job, but they may not be able to pronounce words well or emphasize the right things. When it comes to comedy, coming off as monotone can kill the joke. It doesn’t matter how well you write your script if it isn’t delivered well.

Forget About the Business, Have Fun With It

After finding the right person to read your script, it’s time to start writing it out! As a business person, you’re probably used to writing articles and reports about revenue and strategy. Yet, writing comedy is the exact opposite of these writing styles.

Comedy writing is about having fun with words and being unafraid to say the things that are on everyone’s minds. It’s about getting people to have fun while staying informative and telling a story. And everyone can do it, but not everyone can do it well.

To write a comedy script well, you need to be open with yourself and your audience. Write about your flaws as a company, and present them in a humorous light. The easiest way to start is to write about forcing people to stay on hold and joke about it.

Never Laugh at Your Own Jokes, Write It With Coworkers

Most writers get into the business because they want to work in seclusion. They’re attracted to the myth of being alone with nothing but a keyboard and a computer, scribbling their thoughts. Yet, comedy writing isn’t like traditional writing.

When it comes to writing comedy, you need to have people around you. There should be people around you that you can bounce ideas off of. Otherwise, you’ll just be telling yourself jokes and slowly go insane as you force yourself to laugh at your own jokes.

It won’t make for good comedy writing at all, and you won’t produce a usable script.

Don’t Be Afraid to Be Unprofessional — It’s Comedy

Many professionals aren’t used to stepping outside of their comfort zones and being exactly what they’re not: unprofessional. Yet, to write comedy, that’s exactly what you must be. You can’t be afraid to take off the stuffy suit and let yourself relax, writing whatever comes to mind.

And if you write something that doesn’t impress your coworkers or earn accolades, that’s fine. It’s called the writing process, and it’s why most writers prefer their seclusion. All writers are embarrassed by their first drafts.

Just because you’re writing comedy doesn’t mean you won’t feel embarrassed by what you write. The goal of writing comedy is to overcome that embarrassment, and for you to help your fellow writers know they have nothing to be afraid of. The best comedy writing comes about when the writers are all the best of friends.

Make Sure The Script Stays On-Brand

It doesn’t matter if you’re writing marketing copy or if you’re writing a comedy script; everything must stay on brand. Writing is about capturing your inner voice and sharing it with an audience. The same applies when you’re writing for a company, and its brand is its voice.

If you stray away from the company brand, your audience will notice and your on hold message will backfire. People will feel tricked as they wait to talk to an actual person, and by the time they reach someone real, they’ll be furious.

But, if you stay on brand, people will feel safe and understood. They’ll feel confident that they know what the company is all about, and that will make them easier to work with.

Make Your Company More Personable With a Comedy Script

A comedic on hold message script isn’t just some novelty you can invest in because you feel like it. It’s a way to distinguish your company and establish your brand, and it can help make your customers more eager to do business with you. It’s icing on the cake of your company; without it, it’s not really a cake at all.

Yet, it takes a certain kind of person to write comedy well, and for that, we’re here. Reach out to us, and we’ll prepare a comedic on hold message that will do more than resonate with your audience. It’ll make them laugh, and that’s what it’s all about.